Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Penguin wedding - step parent wedding etiquette goes south

We're in the last throws of packing and closing up everything in the house. In a few hours we'll be above the clouds, heading south. All the way from Africa's west coast to it's southern most tip.

This weekend my stepson is getting married. Not only does this make me feel old! It is also a sentimental occasion and one of those important life defining moments. The children are growing up!!!

The wedding will be very non-traditional which suits me just fine - never having been a traditionalist, nor remotely religious.

Family members from both sides will gather, some from the other side of the world - as the bride is American.

They are having the wedding and reception at a national park - home of the African penguins. You gotta love that. A bunch of guys in tuxedos and matching penguins wobbling about. I'm looking forward to that.

But there is the minor issue of being the step-mom', It's not the most highly regarded position in a family if you know what I mean. Yesterday - when I had WAY more time, I had the idea of writing some witty post about the topic but then I got sidetracked when I found a number of websites outlining the etiquette for step parents at a wedding!!

I couldn't believe it - but if you go HERE you can see a good example.

Who knew I was supposed to sit on a back seat, bow out of the receiving line and most probably wear beige.

The bottom line is that you should try to blend in with the surroundings. In this case, maybe I should go as a penguin?

Well - etiquette and family feuding aside, I'm excited for the young couple - all those hopes and dreams ahead of them!

I plan to have a stiff cocktail near the very beginning and enjoy the day in their honour.

Be back in a week.

Thanks For Making This Possible! Kindly Bookmark and Share it.

Technorati Digg This Stumble Stumble Facebook Twitter


Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

That step parent roll is tough. I know, cuz I am right there with you!!

Captain Dumbass said...

Awkward. Just keep drinking, I'm sure it will all work out.

Anonymous said...

I am a stepfather and as far as I'm concerned, I'll sit at my stepson's eventually wedding at whatever seat I've earned over the past years.

I hope it goes well and that you get to come out of hiding in time to eat some cake!

LMJ said...

Thank goodness for cocktails!!!

Anonymous said...

Being a step (mom, dad) should not be that hard but we have made it a struggle. Some have it easy because of the relationships they build entering the scene with children and the partner mainly based on their personality.

I think that stepfathers/mothers should play a role in events like these but we also should remember the real father/mother. If that individual is alive they should also play a role if the child is fine with it - based on the history.

I personally believe that the media (movies) plays a critical role in this because all the stepdad/mom roles I have seen have been horrible. The movie characters esp children always regret it because the relationship that they expect to have never happens.

ADVICE to stepmothers/fathers - be the best person you can be to the children, guide, love and protect them.

Have fun - speak with other family members at the event. Give them a chance to know the real you.

African Artists said...

Hello Holly, it's Joe Pollitt from African Painters. Thanks for the support and I would like to try and introduce you some wonderful people in Ghana. It's seems to be really happening over there.

I've started another blog called,

Speak soon,

Joe ( or

Renee said...

I hope that you have a brilliant time.


The pale observer said...

Thanks Lee and Matthew - nothing like knowing you are not alone in a situation!!

CPT & LMJ - Will make sure to make use of the free bar - without becoming embarassing :)

Corve - you are right! It's best just to be yourself. Everything will be just fine!!!

UPDATE - we have spent the first chilly but sunny and glorious day in Cape Town and seen the venue - complete with chubby little AFrican penguins waddling freely around. It's going to be great! :)

The pale observer said...

Joe - thanks!! Will visit the new site!!!

GutsyWriter said...

I love the photo of the penguins. Where do you find the perfect photo?
I am not a stepmom, but have one, since my mom passed away. I was much older when my dad remarried (30), so I seriously don't feel like Jill is my stepmom, more like my dad's wife. Depending on the age you remarried, I can see how difficult or easy, certain situations can be. Have a wonderful time.

Jm Diaz said...

I loved the picture and the post. Best of luck, though i am not a step parent, my wife is, and she will sit top front with me and the boys mother when\if that day ever comes. She's earned, and nobody can say any different.

Renee said...

Holli I say have a wonderful time and no back seats for you.

Love Renee xoxo

Expat mum said...

Hope you have a great time anyway. I always find American weddings so formal that it's hard to enjoy them.

The Blushing Hostess said...

I am with the captain above... drink! But seriously, it is a little sticky but you'll rise above, though... the penguin thing would be memorable!

Jessica said...

If it were me I were me I would do nothing to blend in and be unnoticed. In fact I would do just the opposite.

#167 Dad said...

I guess every day's an adventure with you.

ladytruth said...

I have something for you over at my blog :)

blunt edges said...

have lotsa fun n go tipsy ;)

had no clue that there r penguins in africa!

Christine Gram said...

Oh I hate those etiquette sites! Your family wants you, not some wall flower. If you're anything but, I'd imagine they might even be offended.

The pale observer said...

Hi All - I'm back from the trip and the penguin wedding!

We all survived. I drank quite alot of red wine but maintained my composure and had a great time. We all danced until they closed us down!

I'll be posting about the whole experience in the next couple days.

@ladytruth - THANKS! I am back and can finally visit your site :)

Jungle Mom said...

Sounds like a fun wedding!

Anonymous said...

What national park was the wedding at?

The pale observer said...

Hi Anon - it was at Boulders Beach near Cape Town...

Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have were times of hardship when I didn't know about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright pessimistic person.
I have never imagined that there weren't any need in big starting capital.
Nowadays, I'm happy and lucky , I begin take up real money.
It gets down to select a proper companion who uses your money in a right way - that is incorporate it in real business, parts and divides the income with me.

You may get interested, if there are such firms? I have to answer the truth, YES, there are. Please get to know about one of them: [url=]Online Investment Blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

How you find ideas for articles, I am always lack of new ideas for articles. Some tips would be great

Anonymous said...

The accoutrements of a car tool betray anticipated depends upon the assay and aggregation of effect it has to do. There are rare sizes of machines of the unvaried breed on the benefit of machining different sizes of castings and forgings, also there are another kinds of machines repayment for the advance of doing the to a great extent accommodating of loosen in bizarre grades of refinement. An mercantile payment is to have in it as at best entire machines as logical to do as fine exotic a racket of work as achievable, and this is most successfully polished fro choosing high-grade machines which are not exclusively adapted to quality of trade,,light/,regaly,metalowe,s,5258/,mobi/,szafy,metalowe,s,3095/

Anonymous said...

How to getting your ex back tipsYour physician or nutritionist should be consulted first if you want
to eat bread or high carbohydrate products.

Here is my site :: homepage

Blog Widget by LinkWithin

Say something! Ramble a bit...

Visitor counter from June 5th, 2008

website counter